oh how sweet it is to be married. over the last month i got hitched to a wonderful woman. as i’ve been experiencing all the wonderful joys, i’ve also been thinking a lot about the interesting changes, compromises and adaptations that we’ll both be making as we now grow our lives together.
some lifestyle design/living intelligently principles revolve around physical possessions, how to handle money, how to make money, and what to spend it on. it’s all in efforts to spend less time doing stuff you don’t want to do, making a difference, and really enjoying life as opposed to working away all your young years to save money to spend while you’re 60+ …. i don’t know about you but those principles are pretty intertwined in a lifestyle, so what happens when you mix them with someone who hasn’t dug into all this “lifestyle stuff”?….here’s my experience.
marriage in a lot of ways is a compromise, but you likely see eye to eye on a lot of issues, here’s how some of the principles i live by in regards to lifestyle design meshed with Maria’s.
eliminating physical stuff
this is the area i’m having to most mentally adjust. i wasn’t a third world country geo arbitrage living type of person to begin with, but i always operated like i could “off” all my stuff if i wanted to and make easy living changes. i keep a monthly “minimizing” task in my schedule and try to keep everything i own in an inventory list, so adding a whole other persons belongings to my list made a big impact.
she pegged me when she called me a “quasi-minimalist” on Facebook. i purchase things with hesitancy, usually throwing something out if i buy anything. we have so much stuff in this world, i avoid hoarding things and paying attention to materialism. that doesn’t mean i don’t own nice things, but i try not to own a lot of things.
so how to adjust to 30+ pairs of shoes? changing views, and getting over kitchen appliances.
funny story, when we first went to scan things on our wedding registry, i was astounded with all the things we were supposed to add. salad utensils? what in the world, why can we just use a spork for everything? it took me a while, but changing my mindset to having a homestead, a castle, and experiencing life more richly where you are sunk in. there’s a line for frivolousness sure, but along with a “go out and explore” sense of adventure, there’s just as much adventure in a blender night and cultivating some culinary art with it. we both love adventure, so while we still look to have new experiences, i’ve reminded myself they can happen inside the home as much as traveling outside.
as for the inventory, it’s still a great reminder to own less crap, so i still snap pictures and list out what’s in each room. for the wife, and just for practical reasons, it’s great for insurance if ever needed.
i’ve rubbed off on her a bit, and lifestyle design has certainly put practices in my life to avoid any pack rat behavior. enjoy what you own, get out and enjoy life regularly, and donate, sell, throw away stuff you don’t need regularly!
automation and batching
the practices i use in business here haven’t been impacted as they’re more private, but in life, introducing this to Maria has been fun, and being the practically minded woman she is, she appreciates the approach. not much has changed here in how i automate life tasks.
laundry, cooking food, life administrative junk.
the principles seem second nature to me now. cook as many meals as you can for the week, do laundry as seldom as possible, schedule time to talk about finances once a week, check in on automatic bill pay accounts. only choose credit cards, or use “mycheckfree” or similar bank services to automate the payments. investigate if better rates or cards, or deals are out there in passing and scheduled once a month.
in business this applies well to e-mails, relationship marketing, social media, blog writing, and then the more technical task of hiring out virtual assistants or setting up auto-responders, using services and support documents so most issues are handled with very little involvement or scheduled involvement from yourself.
making money through easily managed business ventures
Maria sometimes thinks some of the business tactics are silly, but does well to humor me, and respect the legitimacy of the business. it helped when about a year in, IT Arsenal started bringing in checks from affiliates for hundreds, or paypal e-mails of sales while we were out traveling, or sleeping.
the security of online business has come into question in our relationship, can you really rely on this? how much could you make? what about health insurance? who are you talking to on that video on your macbook pro at 3am?
the reality is that these things are constantly moving targets, and if you’re able to accept a base constant on these things, you can continue (and i’ll support it) to pursue them has been the answer most of the time.
it helps she’s put in her time, and i’m in awe of her accomplishment that she’s not only passed the bar exam, but secured a job in one of the top law firms in philadelphia. this certainly is counted as a recent blessing, and doesn’t change my continued plan for creating streams of income to support us, and free time in my life to be a great husband, and live a life i love while making a difference.
moving forward
if anything, coming off this life “high” i’m excited to build bigger and better business, and continue to hone the “easily managed” part of IT Arsenal, which has been making consistent progress so i can be an awesome husband.
i’ve overwhelmingly happy to be married, Maria is a dream come true to me and i’m glad to share life with her, even my “lifestyle designed” life!
if interested, check out the preview our stellar photographers sent us already from our wedding at the end of august. http://www.epic-photos.com/blog/index.php?year=2011&month=August&post_get_id=161&page_type=recent